Recent Writing
My Wedding Coincided With 9/11 (Newsweek)
When anyone asks about our wedding, I say we got married four days after September 11.
I will never be able to separate the two events in my mind, and I don’t want to. The wedding gave our family and friends a brief respite from the devastation of that week and offered some hope.
Climbing and Cliffhangers (Lilith Magazine)
Tap Dancing on Everest captures Zieman’s journey to move beyond the walls of her fear both to create a world for herself and to create a safer world for others. I connected to this unique story of a brave Jewish woman at a time when it feels challenging to be both. Her willingness to push her body and face harsh conditions is far removed from something I would attempt myself; reading her story emboldened me to defy my own self-imposed limitations, to step beyond my own walls.
Genetic Screening is More Urgent Than Ever (Lilith Magazine)
I was ten years old the summer I discovered that something was wrong with my baby sister. The first child born to my father and my stepmother, Mindy was about to celebrate her first birthday, but she couldn’t sit on her own and didn’t seem interested in crawling.
“She’s just taking her time,” I told my father.
“I’m not so sure,” he responded.
My Dad Hid My Sister From Me For Decades. Then I Learned That Wasn't Our Only Family Secret. (HuffPo)
My father wasn’t the one who told me I had a secret sister.
On a summer day in 2000, when I was 24 years old, I was out buying pillows for the apartment I had just moved to with my fiancé. My mom called me on my cell, and I heard a strange, nervous excitement in her voice. I stopped on the sidewalk with my shopping bags to listen.
“I’m not sure how to say this,” she said. “Your dad has been keeping something from you.”
The Right Time for a Bat Mitzvah (Tablet)
On a cool November morning in Jerusalem in 1996, the rabbi called me to the bimah by my Hebrew name. I stood next to him, wearing a simple black suit jacket paired with a long flowing floral skirt. Though he had the English transliteration of the Hebrew prayers ready in case I needed it for my aliyah, I sang the call and response I had memorized by heart, tears shining in my eyes. Looking out at the congregation, I saw my friends watching me proudly. After the service finished, the rabbi asked them to join me and took our picture.
What Makes Me Rebellious? A Head Full of Gray Hair (Rebellious Magazine)
After almost three decades of using color to cover my gray hair, I am going dye free in 2022.
I have done far more seemingly rebellious things in my life. In my teens I dropped out of school, ran off to Las Vegas, took drugs, and got tattoos. Now in my forties, risking judgment, I have published essays about the wisdom gained from those mistakes. Unless you google me though, you cannot guess my sordid past from my appearance or detect me in a lineup of suburban mothers.
How to Move, How to Breathe (Lilith)
IN THE FALL OF 1998, I received another letter from my mother asking me to return home to Chicago. She couldn’t understand why I was determined to spend my junior year abroad in Israel. She was worried about bus bombings and market explosions, of course, but I sensed her discomfort was also tied to something else.
My Kids Asked Me If I'd Ever Done Cocaine. Here's What I Told Them. (HuffPo)
“Have you ever done cocaine?”
The inflection of my son’s voice when he asked me that question was as if he had asked me to pass the peas, but his eyes were fixed on mine, waiting for my answer.
It began as a conversation about sex. My husband was out of town on a business trip, and my sons, 17 and 14, and I were bonding while eating pizza between homework and activities. It was January, before I had ever heard of COVID-19, and my biggest concern as far as their health was concerned was STIs.
Here’s Why I Love Social Distancing With My Teens
I was secretly thrilled when our governor announced that schools would switch to remote learning in March. I was also relieved. My heart went out to the families who were going to be impacted by the pandemic, but I knew that the orders to shelter in place would help save lives.
You might think the constant presence of our teenage sons, who are 17 and 14, would have been an added complication, but I loved it. I loved social distancing with my family. I didn’t miss the hustle of waking up early to get them out the door to school. Once we started observing our natural sleep rhythms, everyone became more relaxed.
The Awkward Ongoing Conversation: Having “The Talk” with My Sons (Your Teen Magazine)
Over a decade ago, I was driving in the car with my two sons, who were five- and two-years-old at the time. I was listening to a discussion on NPR about the complexities of in vitro fertilization, when I heard a voice pop up from the back seat.
“Mom, did it hurt when they put the needle in you?” my kindergartener Max asked.
Dancing with my sister (Oy Chicago)
I still remember turning the music up loud and dancing wildly that summer night, holding my baby sister Mindy in my arms. She laughed and laughed, enjoying the movement and I joined her. It was unusual for us, because Mindy was not always a happy baby and because a few days before our family had received the worst news, a confirmation of my parents’ worst fears.
Mindy was diagnosed with Tay-Sachs, a degenerative genetic disease that affects mainly Ashkenazi Jews. Now we understood why Mindy, despite initially appearing to be healthy and strong, had started missing her milestones at eight months old.
